One for the Road.

It has been a rollercoaster of a year; a rollercoaster of emotions.

I loved and lost. Then loved again and lost again. I'm still hurting over this heartbreak and it will be tumultuous trying to get over 8 years of you. I still dont know how you do it but I shall try. There will be good days and bad days. For now, bad days outweigh the good but I hope 2015 would bring better ones. Sometimes i want to switch off my emotions so badly because I feel like everything is so bleak and gloomy. There isn't a day that I don't miss you and wish that we can start over on a blank slate (which is nearly impossible). Heartbreak has brought me to the lowest of lows and now the only way now is up.  So far, I've learnt from my mistakes and am still trying to come to terms with some regrets that I still have. If i could change things in the past, I would (be a better girlfriend for e.g.). I feel so shallow and lame for letting my love life define me and determine my year & outlook on life but I guess it really did affect me tremendously. I trust that my heart will find its way if it's meant to be sigh. But most importantly, I guess in the end I know I should want you to be happy. With or without me.

2014 has taught me a lot; to be more independent, to treasure friends and family and to never take things/moments/people for granted. Life is fickle and every little moment has to be treasured.
And I'm really grateful for the wonderful friends who have been by my side even though I know i can be annoying sometimes lol. And to those going on exchange, have fun, stay safe and make new memories. I'm gonna miss yall so much :') May our friendships stay gold ♡♡♡

Sooooo my reflection aside...
Happy New Year everyone!
May all my friends and family find more happiness, love, good health, laughter, and adventure in the coming year.

And I hope I do too...

imy x.

Today my relatives asked me about you/us. It made me really sad to admit out loud that we are no longer together and that I don't know what's going in your life. Probably the only things I found 'amusing' were the awkward silences that ensued and the countless "don't worry, you'll find someone else" coupled with sympathetic looks -.-

& I really don't know who I can talk to anymore. Just feeling so distant from everyone else because i dont wanna unload all my shit onto anyone.
Or maaaayyybeeeee I'm just overthinking.

Xmas @ Wilma's!

I miss you so fucking much it hurts. I'm so weak right now for longing after you and crying like a baby. I don't wanna admit it sometimes but i want to stay here in sg and not fly away so i can be with you again. Is that being weak? Longing and loving someone who obviously doesnt feel the same anymore. Our love was true and I dont know if I can feel that way anymore and it scares me so much. I'm so sorry for the things I've done to hurt you (not like my apology matters like you said)

Always x.

O Holy Night

Merry Christmas!

My favourite holiday of the year is here! It's been a rough year but I'm thankful for all I have right now. Would have loved to spend Christmas with you though.
Christmas carols/hymns on endless repeat because christmas hence legit haha.

It was good seeing you today. I missed you.

Unspoken words and fleeting touches.

Pretty lights make me happy.