If I recover, will you be my comfort?

I would never admit it to anyone, but I've been hurt pretty badly. Deep down, I'm not happy. Though no one would ever guess it. I'm on a downward spiral.
Called you seeking for some form of comfort, and you didn't pick up. I know it isn't your fault.
But that was when I broke down.

One day you would have had enough, and walk away from me. And I only have myself to blame. I know 'sorry' just doesn't cut it anymore.

I'm such a horrible, selfish person :'(

Laneway 2014

Wide-eyed, like we're in a crime scene.

Cause we both know I'll never be your lover
I only bring the heat
Company under cover
Filling space in your sheets.

i miss you

Amitié.

Bored so I typed these out; special memories of our time together in Paris. Some memories cannot be fully captured in pictures :>

- Exploring the streets of Paris on a rainy night
- Fighting the strong gales with our umbrellas

- Rue du Bac

- Kebab

- PastaBox

- Supermarket shopping 

- My failed search for chocolate milk

- Disney Channel

- Princess Protection Programme

- Baba au Rhum

- Creme Brulee

- 40 Euros worth of Macarons

- Trying to get a good shot of the Eiffel Tower against the sun

- Using the toilets in Shangri-La near Trocadero

- Pigeons

- The search for Marie Antoinette's estate

- Gardens of Versailles

- Enjoying each other's company in our room, while having our supper 

- Duck breast / Veal / Duck confit / Beef tartare / Foie Gras

- Grog

- Cheap Evian

- Jam bottles / Nesquik / Organic tea

- Eurostar incident (52 to 78)

- Christmas market on Champs Elysees

- Mushroom and cream, French onion soup

- Exploring the Louvre

- Selfies! Especially with the Mona Lisa

- Nude portraits/sculptures

- Lock / Lover's Bridge (where Wilma didn't buy a lock for us heh)

- Cold and wet Seine river cruise

- Mass at Notre Dame

- Crepes!

- Stinky Metro stations

- Invalides

- Gare Montparnasse

- PAUL

- Us eating too much dessert

- Rhubarb tart 

- McDonalds' macarons

- Attempts to cut the queue at Versailles and Aloy's badass sister

- Huge fallen tree stump which Aloy climbed 

- Our muddy boots

- Boyband photos in Versailles

- Standing on the road divider just to capture a shot

- Aloy's short scarf

- Matching H&M coats

- 1.70 Metro tickets

- Shakespeare & Co.

- The carousel in London

Thank you both for the lovely memories <3

"It’s only when we stop trying to own a person and control a love that we can have a healthy love at all."

If I ever feel better.

Awesome concert to start off 2014 :D

Failure.

Had a bad dream last night. Dreamt I was in an airplane crash, and I had to escape with a parachute. Had to fight for survival and there were so many dead people :( Well, I survived and landed in the ocean. The images from the dream kept replaying in my head today so I just had to google the dream interpretation. haha.

"To dream that a plane crashes signifies that you have set overly high and unrealistic goals for yourself. You are in danger of having those goals come crashing down. Alternatively, the crashing airplane represents your lack of confidence, self-defeating attitude and self-doubt. You do not believe in your own ability to achieve those goals. Loss of power and uncertainty in achieving your goals are also signified.

Jumping out of a parachute implies that it is time to bail out of a situation or abandon an old idea or habit.

The airplane, as a mode of transportation, symbolizes a dreamer’s journey. To see an airplane crash indicates that the dreamer’s conscious mind fears failure in his waking life direction. It could be fears of a calamitous end for a professional or personal project or his general life future.

It is important to note that the dream is not predicting failure or the future. It merely indicates that the dreamer is feeling stressed, fearful, overwhelmed and hopeless in his waking life. 

Plane crashes into an ocean, lake or other body of water: the failure or unpleasant results will emotionally overwhelm the dreamer."

Love like a sunset.

Acres
Visible illusion
Where it starts it ends
Love like a sunset.

A certain darkness is needed to see the stars.

Maybe one day I'll be brave enough to let you read my private posts, and let you in on my deepest thoughts and feelings.

That would be nice.

From afar.

It shouldn't come as a surprise 
What I'm feeling, what I'm feeling now.

:/

Say something, I'm giving up on you.

"I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you
Anywhere, I would've followed you

Say something, I'm giving up on you."

Rock bottom

The only way now is up.
Slow and steady. \m/

We've all been there.

"The game isn’t supposed to be rigged in love, though we know we’re not going to win all the time. And yet we try, anyway, to go big or go home, because we do not do things by halves. We love and we care and we give other people our hearts even though we know they might spit them back out not because we’re naive, but because we’re optimistic. Because we have hope.

Heartbreak from almost dating someone is no less real just because you didn’t have a title, because you didn’t meet the parents, because you never said “I love you” out loud. Because you sensed it. Because you felt that it could be there, really and truly. Because we were, but we weren’t, but we could have been."

Just a thought.

Frozen

Let it go, let it go
Can't hold it back anymore
Let it go, let it go
Turn my back and slam the door
And here I stand, and here I'll stay
Let it go, let it go
The cold never bothered me anyway.
~

Thoroughly enjoyed the movie!

Crushed.

I dont even know why it hurts so bad. What a bad start to the year. Just cant wait for school to start. Need a distraction.
Wish I could just leave the country and start anew.

This sucks. Big time.

So this is the new year.

Starting off 2014 on a bad note :'(

You aren't here.

If things start splitting at the seams and now, 
It's tumbling down
Hard.